International girl child day

On #InternationalGirlChildDay today, when all the ads are screaming out about the education, health and other such things of girls, one disturbing headline caught my attention - 4 year old raped and brutalized with blades in Delhi by a person known to the family.

There are some who call me a cynic  when I raise this issue. But it is a known fact that such incidents have become common yet why would you choose to turn a blind eye to them and the people who are around your daughter?

Is having faith in some stranger more important than the childhood of your girl? There are people who choose to trust the stranger just so the person continues to maintain a cordial relationship and doesn't say bad things about them, which as we all know spreads in the neighbourhood pretty soon. That is another reason why we love the strange man. This is one reason why such crimes continue to happen.

Another reason is the thought 'it can't happen to us, everyone we know is too good a person.'

Unfortunately, everything holds true for most of us, including me. But when you bring a life into this world, you are responsible for it. Being a parent is not just about earning for your child and giving them an education, these things matter for their healthy growth as a person.

I am no expert at parenting but I do have a daughter and that has led to a sudden sense of responsibility in me. I just hope everyone understands this and vows to make the world around them a good place.

Do it if you love it

Dance is one thing I really like. It's like since school days I have loved to shake a leg, even though not a great dancer it still is something I love. Well, it is now nowhere but still is something that is at the back of my mind.

That is why when that day Sahil told me about a dance performance at school, I was all ears. He wanted to participate in it and I completely wanted him to do it. However I was a bit nervous about him taking to the stage as he was just 5, thinking about all the practice he might have to put in, which might be a bit too stressful for him.

But then that is where I came into the picture. I told him to say yes and tell me all about what he needed. Sahil came up to me all excited the next day and said," Mummy, I am going to dance as Krishna in this performance." It sounded great to have my son on stage in an important part.

I asked him if he knew anything about Krishna and Sahil said, "He was a god who danced and played the flute." That seemed enough information for a 5-year-old. I told him, "You need to look really charming while you dance and just smile a lot while performing, the real charm of Krishna."

The next day Sahil came home pretty upset. I asked him, "What happened Sahil? You look upset." He said,"Mummy, the teacher told me that I am not dancing properly. I felt really bad. I don't want to take part."

Although I did feel sad, but I couldn't force Sahil to take part in something he didn't want to. But then I thought these are the small things that shape a child, this is what will decide how he spends the rest of his years at school.

I went up to Sahil and said, "Why don't you want to dance Sahil?" He said, "Because mam said I was bad and I don't want anyone else to say that to me again."

"But Sahil, were you enjoying the dance before mam told you that?," I asked.

"Yes."

"Then you should do it. You dance because you enjoy it, you don't dance for others, you dance for yourself."

He looked a bit confused so I asked him to do the dance in front of me. He was hesitant but did it. I clapped and praised him endlessly. He was happy and then did it again. He was so happy that he showed it to his dad also in the evening.

I asked him again, "do you love dance? or is it just the praise that led yo to do it again today." Sahil smiled and said, "Mummy, I loved it. I loved it when you clapped but no one at school claps." I repeated, "Sahil, dance if you like to. Don't dance for the claps."

The next afternoon Sahil said he will be participating and that his teacher said he is dancing really well.

It felt good, good to see Sahil back and all smiles. A small performance at school is just the first step to everlasting confidence. Today Sahil knows that he is dancing because it makes him happy, he is not dancing to make others happy.

I have been getting his dress ready and feel like it's me who is taking the stage this time, once again.

Watching him perform as the little Krishna made me all teary eyed, I could see my son growing up, and hope he never lets his confidence down because of other kids at school.

Sahil hugged me tight after the performance and said, "Mummy, everyone was clapping." Everyone sure did for my little Krishna.

That rainy day !

( A short story I wrote because I have been wanting to write something for so long )

Looking out of the window, I remember how rain meant freshness, fun, love and sheer thrill in my younger days. Well, not that it doesn't now. In fact, rain still makes me feel so good about everything, makes me forget about all the stress and tension. But, something is different now.

I leave to pick up my daughter Misha from school. It's quite near so I prefer walking all the way to her school. But it's raining quite heavily today so I take an auto instead; I know how much Misha hates the rain.

"Mamma ! Mamma...", there comes Misha shouting out to me. Well, she looks quite happy for a rainy day. "I am so happy today, I got a star in my English homework," said a super-enthralled Misha. She was so happy that she didn't even mention the non-stop rain, something which usually really annoyed her.

Misha avoided a puddle of water and got in the auto. She couldn't wait to show me her notebook but she didn't want it to get wet so waited till we reached home. As soon as she stepped into the house she pulled out the notebook and sporting a large smile showed me the star she had got.

Misha was only in Kindergarten but the little girl knew what a star meant. It meant that her work was appreciated and the teacher loved what she did. This acceptance gave her a sense of security, which, I believe, every kid needs. Lunch was a description of how the teacher patted her back and appreciated her work in front of the whole class.

Looking at Misha, I realised what happiness means and how something that makes you really happy makes you forget everything that makes you unhappy.

Then again, as you grow up you forget these moments, moments which as an adult you long for. The kid is unaware of what he/she is enjoying right now and as he/she grows older the side effects of being an adult seeps in their life also.


Today, the rain took me back to my childhood and the days of no worries, however, little issues did seem like big problems then. And this rainy day taught me how a small happiness can suppress all your sadness.

Looking at Misha I have learnt that if a small child can forget her problem when presented with even a small reason to smile, everyone else can.

...and I went back to enjoying the rain.

How tough is it to make a decision ?

Really, how tough is it to reach a decision ? Why do some of us take one instantly while others (like me) take forever to make a decision and when and however they are successful in making one, they are still not confident about what they have chosen.

I think those who fall in the first category are the ones who lead a carefree life. These are the ones who live in the present and do not care about what tomorrow holds in store. They live by the spur of the moment and never ever regret any of their decisions. In a nutshell, they are contented and happy souls.

The ones who fall in the latter category are just the opposite. They are the ones who want to lead a happy life but in their quest to do so do not notice that they are burning THE HAPPINESS they aspire for by constantly keeping their minds busy with all kinds of stuff.

For them, every decision is very, very important and can never be taken without measuring the pros and cons. "What ifs" and "Buts" always come first and consequently, they never reach a sound decision. They are never happy and can never be happy because their mind is always clouded with uncertainty. They are constantly thinking about the ifs and buts resulting in a mind filled with tons and tons of things -- leaving no room for the real happiness.

Constant worrying means keeping your mind busy about frivolous things and as a result, you are unable to think in the right direction and consequently, lack of proper decision.

Decisions do not always need to be perfect. Mistakes happen and chances need to be taken. I, personally, can speak for myself and admit that my mind is always full of things which should not bother me, these things shouldn't have the right to disturb my peace of mind. But despite knowing all this so well, I am still unable to weed all of it out ( That's me).

Chances need to be taken and you need to decide for yourself. Stepping out of the comfort zone is important if you wish to explore and be happy. Life is very tough but then it was never meant to be easy... Money is important... but never so important that you sacrifice your happiness for it. To be fit and healthy is important, but never so important that you start avoiding your favourite food.

So, just let things be, they are anyway going to take their own course and will never run according to your plans, so why waste your time and evergy on them...

So next time before thinking about taking a decision, just do what you want and not what others want, or what they will think or how it may affect your future... We can be happy by letting those things go which fill us with negativity... and to really let such things go from your life is the biggest decision that always needs to be taken, everytime... but something always impedes it's exit from our lives.

Hope it doesn't happen anymore !!!

Ye life ka ki angle hai !!!

Ye life bhi sab ke liye ajeeb hai...jaisa ki emraan hashmi ne aurat ke liye kaha, main apne nazariye se zindagi ke liye kehna chahungi...Zindagi jo hai na, rainbow ki tarah hoti hai...jitne roop utne rang. Kisi ko lagti hai lottery ki tarah, lag gey toh kismat khul jati hein. Kisi ko hoti hein mohabbat ki tarah, ho gayi toh jaan atakh jati hain... Mujhe toh chari zehar ki tarah, ke ab paani bhe peeti hun na, toh aag lag jaati hai... So, that sums up everything... Nice thought ...pat on my back

Don't sell tears... Become sensitive

I know it would be some sort of an irony if I say that the field of media is the sickest place and yet work in one. Here I get a first-hand account of the "credit" aspect that has seeped in the system... How ofter have you heard the sentences " We broke the story " or " You heard it first on XYZ channel." Quite often, isnt it...
But everyone here has turned insensitive to such an extent that they dont even bother to see the situation, the scenario... sensitive cases such as, rape cases, demand sensitivity. But shockingly, the very people who promise to fetch justice for a rape victim, turn insensitive to her. They are bothered about taking credit for telling the world that "we broke it first"... rather that turn a sensitive ear towards her...
When she , or someone in a similar position, breaks down on national TV, the channel never fails to shout aloud that "XYZ broke down ( cried ) on our channel." Truly, tears sell... and that's the reason why TV is such a hit today...

An example to support my view... Today, on Jan 14 ( Makar Sankranti ), an "alleged gangrape victim" ( I am taught to be politically correct, that's y 'alleged' ) came out of the studio after narrating a horrendous account about how she was gangraped by an MLA and some of his goons for full 15 days. The girl broke down, she was crying ( she did look like the "victim" and not an " alleged victim" ). The studio persons come out, our senior lends her a shoulder. The moment she leaves the place a cameraperson was smiling.. I hit him with my elbow for smiling... To which he replied " अरे, हम तो ये सोच रहे थे की कैमरा ले आयें बहार और शूट कर लें" .... The sentence struck me hard... but only after a while... Why after a while ? Well, because it seems even I have learned the tricks of the trade.. as my reply was... " हां.... वो तो है, सही रहता ... "

I was shocked at what I had just said... I believe the saying " कोयले की दलाली में हाथ तो काले होते ही हैं "... is true... Coz, that is what has happened...

I have always said that I am part of a profession to whose ideals I dont  connect, I never agree. I stand by this statement...

And another one -- Just when we were to wind up the bulletin, the victim said that she will burn herself and her child alive if she does not get justice. We were then instructed to say ... " The victim has said first on XYZ channel that she will commit suicide if she does not get justice."

Is that all we are bothered about? Is that what the people are bothered about... I am sure the audience does not care who broke the story, or where did they "heard it first. " Then why does the media wear these superficial, illusionary spectacles ?

We see people crying, but how many of us actually feel the pain... All of 22, and the girl is fighting a system which has never yielded to the helpless... The victims are vicitmized till they are dead... and later, their families. It is a bad world out there... You have to stand up for yourself and not let the powerful force you down...

However, saying this is easy, but to follow it needs pluck and guts....

But for now... I hate this profession...

What is justice?

Justice... What is justice? According to the dictionary, " the administering of deserved punishment or reward." 

But does that really happen? Are the guilty actually handed out deserved punishment? 

Sometimes Yes ... But sometimes No... In case punishment is given out, it is not always "deserved" or "apt"...

This is just what happened in the Ruchika Girhotra molestation case... The accused was handed out a punishment, but that just seemed to be a mere formality looking at the 6 - month term... Yes, that's exactly the term of punishment that Rathore was given... He is accused of molesting a 14-year-old girl way back in 1990... who then committed suicide 3-years later... Why? Because the poor girl was made to feel like an accused, what with her brother and father being tortured by the accused... It looked as if Ruchika was the accused and that's why her family was tortured to no end, they were punished... This is the state of justice in the country... 

Yes, a girl is first molested, then her family is tortured to keep her quiet, and later she kills herself... 

And what happens to the accused? He roams around freely, treating law as his family affair... and then a free man is again set free after 19 long years... What with the 6-month prison term... And whoa... he is set to challenge that too........ 

And when does the media and the people react !!! When he is handed a "6-MONTH PUNISHMENT" ........ No one even knew about the case till then.... 

Wonder how many more Ruchika's are suffering silently.... behind closed doors....